I'll be honest, I kept my expectations for this one rather low. That isn't to say I went in wanting to hate it, just that I felt a nagging sense of too much hype and if I kept my expectations low, I'll come out happy. Even if the story sucked (which I had no doubt it would) even if the performances were average at best (which aside from Liam Neeson I wasn't expecting much), so long as the action was frequent, even mindless, and awesome, I would be happy.
It didn't even come close to jumping over the very low bar I set for it.
In the world of the film, the gods created Man because they stayed immortal as long as they were worshiped. Then something about Hades making the Kraken to kill the Titans. So before the movie even begins, the Titans clashed and lost. There aren't any Titans in this movie. I mean if they never mentioned the Titans as something separate from the gods, that wouldn't be a problem, we would just think Titan is another word for god I guess. But they mention the Titans as something that opposed the gods, and speak of that only in backstory. So essentially the title is moot.
So whatever, they made a Kraken to deal with them. Cut to Perseus being found in the ocean by a fisherman, who adopts him. We learn later that Perseus is the bastard son of the woman Zeus raped, making him a demigod. Before we learn this, Perseus grows up and witness his family killed. The men of Argos have decided they have had enough of the gods and then Hades appears to kill a bunch of them including Perseus's family who were merely in the crossfire. So the people of Argos and Perseus vow revenge, while Hades somehow convinces his brother Zeus into releasing the Kraken in a couple days to destroy Argos. His logic is this will make them pray to the gods again ,their power comes from worship, except for Hades who's power comes from fear.
This is my first big problem. Hades just shows up, no idea how he escaped the underworld. Second he is much less powerful apparently. Third, Zeus never thinks for a second that unleashing the Kraken is just a ploy for Hades to get his power back.
Which is my next giant problem with film, the characters motivation. I don't understand the people being like 'we hate the gods now' cause aside from 1 empty fishing net the film gives us no reason to believe they have been screwed over. When Zeus says 'stupid children I gave you life' I agree with them, they have nothing to complain about. Argos is actually a nice place, in a ancient civilization kind of way.
Then there is Zeus who is treated like the villain for the first act, but soon after starts giving Perseus a magic sword,flying horse and other things to help him along the quest to stop... himself? Who's team is he playing on? I honestly can not understand what Zeus wants. Its the most schizophrenic character motivation I have ever seen. Perseus is on a quest to stop the Kraken, Zeus is helping him on his quest, but Zeus is the one who unleashes the Kraken. Just don't unleash the damn Kraken!
Sam Worthington follows his trend of completely forgettable characters. I had hoped giving him a role where he didn't have to force an American accent would allow him to be a little less bland, but no such luck. This is probably his blandest performance yet. His motivation actually makes sense, but at no point do I ever really care.
The supporting characters are equally as bland.
Io (the love interest) is just the exposition machine. She barely has a character. She is just there, and pretty. She says a couple things like 'you have do this, or go here, or here is a little history lesson', she does nothing a narrator couldn't do, besides make out with Perseus.
Ralph Fiennes as Hades looks and sounds really bored. At no point did I feel dread or really anything for this character. Which is a shame because he is a good actor, but he is really cashing a paycheck here.
The special effects were average, except Medusa which was awful. She looks like a video game cut scene. Why they didn't just animate her body but given her a human actress for the head, I don't know. Hollywood needs to learn, that when you animate a character that has a human face, it looks bad no matter how good you are, that because you often have a real human face interacting with it, and you can tell what is fake.
The Kraken looked good, but it really didn't last long at all. Seriously, about as much as you saw on the trailer, you see in the movie. The ending is very anticlimactic.
All this would mean nothing if the movie was at least fun. It really isn't. I can't point to a single thrilling action scene, or anything even cool.
Ultimately it was extremely forgettable.
Stars out of five:
** two stars: Don't pay to see it.
Not that I am advocating piracy, I just mean wait til its free on TV or a friend rents it or something.
0 comments:
Post a Comment