Maul's Movie Moos.

Ringtones.

2010-09-09T23:09:00.000-07:00

Free Ringtones - Ventones

I was having problems getting ringtones to work on my phone, until I went here.

Inception: The Review.

2010-07-19T22:52:00.001-07:00

Go see it.

Ok, that is a cop out, but seriously its my favorite film of the year. Yes, it beat Kick-Ass (which comes to DVD next month CHECK IT OUT!).

I don't want to explain the plot to you at all. It does you a disservice and I believe film review should be more about giving a person a reason to be interested in the film, rather than being a smart ass who analyzes the film while calling it a review. Of course I do that quite often, but I know how to break the rules. Usually I do that because a film sucks balls, and I need to explain why. When a film is flippin' amazing I don't need to do that, except to maybe clarify details of the film that may stand in your way for wanting to see it.

The most I'll say is I haven't felt this way since the Matrix, its the most creative film I have seen in years, and it has tons of layers. This is something I'm super interested to analyze, but I wouldn't pass that off as a review.

I will say this, there is a lot going on in this film, and while you can understand all you'll need to enjoy it, like any good art there are layers worth looking at. If someone says they didn't get this, I'm sorry but you are either ADD, dumb, or got up to take a piss. I know some people are like 'I can't even take a piss during this film' but dude, unless you are at home with a pause button, you should not be able to walk out of any film for any length of time and return and have the film be slowing getting to its next point.

If this is you, go ahead and help Michael Bay buy his next private jet, stop commenting on smart films and influencing opinions. Movies aren't supposed to be easy all the time, and this one isn't even going out of its way to be obtuse but people seem to think it is. The main plot is easy to follow, the subtext you have to dig for, and like all great works of art its all up for discussion as to what it means. That is what people don't get, what does it mean? Stop thinking about what the director wants to tell you, and start thinking about what it means to you.

Now visually I think this movie is without equal this year, its amazingly creative, exciting and just blows your mind, not just because crazy shit is happening, but because of why its happening (imagine a action scene, within a action scene, within an action scene) I can't imagine the kind of creativity it took to dream these scenes up, not just the concept but how to do it with out resorting to bad CGI fakery.

Not saying its not CGI all, but the important thing is that it only is when is has to be, and not 'oh how to get a guy to bounce around the room' ' ummm just animate it', I'm sorry but humans shouldn't be CGIed, it almost always looks awful, and if you do, Mo-cap it (like Lord of the Rings) but only as a last resort.

Anyway, final review 5/5, see it in theatres possibly Imax if available (but only if you can get good seats, because if you get to close in Imax movies are unwatchable).

E3 thoughts.

2010-06-16T03:00:00.000-07:00

So this week began with the Electronic Entertainment Expo (aka E3), the huge annual video game conference. Every year is filled with surprises, and first looks at video games for the coming year (and often the following year).

Microsoft's X-box 360 event:

The expo started off on Monday with the Microsoft event. Their main objective was to debut their new controller-less game device, for the 360, called Kinect (formally the Project Natal).

Obviously this is Microsoft's attempt to cash in on some of that Wii audience they have missed out on. It has some unique features, first off is no controller needed (that doesn't mean the 360 is going completely controller free), also face and voice recognition, and video chat to name the main features.

It completely identifies your body, and locks on to you. Allowing different movements of yours, trigger different things. The most obvious use of this was in Kinect Adventures, as you move and jump to control your avatar to grab coins. It appears that the avatars were moving very close to how the players on stage were moving, so as far as I can tell the device is solid in how it does what it promises.

However my concern comes from the over all Wii-ness of the games. Instead of augmenting our current game experience as I hoped, Kinect seems to be going for the cheap feeling mini-game approach the Wii has mastered (master as in selling tons of cheap crap). Even the Star Wars game felt like it was made not for the average gamer, but for the average family member. Not a lot of depth, impressive to someone who DOESN'T play a lot of video games. Which is the #1 criticism of the Wii.

I think I might really enjoy the new way to access the x-box live dashboard, reaching out and touching the various windows. I'm iffy on the voice recognition however, mainly because #1 it could have been faked, and #2 while I know I have to pre-face my commands with "X-BOX" then the command, I still forsee problems, possibly rewinding to far, or worse when I don't want it to, etc. However its not fair for me to lay that on it yet, as it appeared to work perfectly on stage.

The other Kinect game shown was some utterly forgetable racer. Honestly, I don't understand how they expect us to race with this device, when we aren't holding anything to control our speed. They never really addressed that, I don't think (then again my stream of the event often skipped around, and I missed moments, so maybe it did).

The software shown for Microsoft was awfully underwhelming. There were great 3rd party titles announced elsewhere, but at the Microsoft event it was all Kinect.

At the end of the show they unveiled the new 360 unit, most call it the 360 slim (although Microsoft just says the New X-box 360). Its vastly improved, with built-in wi-fi (FINALLY!) and its whisper quiet (that always makes me think of Dr Nick Rivara). They say its Kinect ready, which baffles me, does that mean my 360 I currently own ISN'T!? Or does that mean I won't have to install the update? If its the latter I'm sure they will update the software come November.

Overall my score for Microsoft is a 3 our 5. They got their message across and the hardware seemed to work perfectly, but I was underwhelmed by the software lineup.

Nintendo Wii:

Heads up. I don't own a Wii. I have not desire to own a Wii. I've played games on the Wii and have been un-impressed every single time. I find the controls akward to use. The 3rd party support is horrible. The hardware is basically a gamecube with motion controls.

Honestly I think the system, outside of the 1st party Mario/Zelda/Metroid titles, to be frankly a joke. If I owned the system I would be angry, as it seems like 2 maybe 3 interesting games come out a year. Unless that year was 2009, then it was 1.

Having said that, I own a DS and I like it very much. So that balances it out. I love Mario, I love Zelda, I love Metroid, and all the classics. I just can't play the Wii, it makes me nerd rage.

That's my disclaimer. Moving on.

Nintendo started off the show with Legend of Zelda: The Skyward Sword, or as I like to call it, the Awkward Sword. Epic game creator of Mario and Zelda, Shigeru Miyamoto, was on hand to demonstrate it, and I'll be damned if he didn't just validate my whole first paragraph. Even he couldn't control the damn thing. Arrows he was trying to aim straight made a sharp drop to the ground. He was trying to swing his sword in exactly the most precise way to kill an enemy (it had to slice exactly vertical or horizontal depending on the enemy) and it took several attempts, and he also tried to navigated this remote control flying beetle which crashed into everything but what he wanted it too. They blamed it on wireless interference from the crowd, but even if that is true, we later see Sony's new Wii-like wand have zero troubles, neither do any of the systems remote controllers. Its was embarrassing.

The biggest surprise came in the form of Goldeneye for wii. However I wouldn't get too excited. First, I thought the graphics, even for a wii game, we below average. Secondly, wii can't do FPS's well. Another reason why I hate it, its so damn limited. Also Online Multiplayer will be a joke. I seriously rather play Goldeneye on a 360.

Epic Mickey was interesting, but as I'm not a Wii owner I don't care that much.

The 3DS was a solid piece of hardware, as far as I could tell (watching online its impossible to see the 3D image). However it boasts a better processor (how much they didn't say) and a thumb pad (which was much needed). Also it seems like picking up wireless signals and game updates will be a breeze (knock on wood, Nintendo and online aren't good friends).

Also apparently their was a Donkey Kong Country game, but I never saw it. Blame it on the skippy feed I guess.

Overall I would give the show a 2.5 out of 5. The 3Ds saved it from a total fail.

Sony Playstation:

Sony had the most to show this year, and like Microsoft that included a motion controller of their own, the Playstation Move.

But first they ramble on about 3D. Personally I hate 3D. The tech is overly expensive, they've only got a handful of films with it implemented well, expensive glasses for everyone watching it, ugh, what a nightmare. However, I am going to say that what Sony has in store for it, is very very smart. #1 You don't need a new unit, or as far as I can tell, buy a more expensive game for it. Your unit gets patched (that's what she said) and your ready to go (so long as you have a expensive 3D capable TV that is). That makes me happy, because this 3D fad had me worried that on-top of the TVs we would have to buy a 3D blu-ray player to replace our now outdated 2D one. So while I have no desire to own 3D, I am happy that they did it in such a smart way, and that they seem to be the go to company for it, which can only help grow their user base.

Next up was the Move. Now I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and say I love this thing... yet. As it is basically a wii-mote and nunchuck. The big difference is the Eyetoy camera, which picks up the movements (it seems anyway) much much MUCH more fluidly than the Wii. Watch how they manuver the character in Sorcerer vs how Miaymoto moves Link in Zelda. Its much smoother.

Tiger Woods also looked great, for a golf game. The way the club moved, and how you hold it, looks so much more like real golf than anything I've seen on Wii.

Overall it looks like Move is capable of doing what Wii tries to do, and also seems to have interesting games that gamers will actually play for longer than 5 minutes.

Now onto the software line-up. Holy Shit! First Portal 2. Valve studio head Gabe Newell came out to announce this, and that is a big deal because this dude said years ago that the PS3 was a bitch to program for and vowed not to make games for it (its why we never got Left 4 Dead). Now he comes out, eating crow, and basically admitting he was wrong and that Portal 2 is gonna be the best on PS3. If you don't know, Portal rocked. Portal 2 will rock harder.

Then Little Big Planet 2! Again, HOLY SHIT! The stuff you can do with that game. If you don't know, the first LBP had the BEST user creator system. While it was complicated to use for most of us, it did lead to an amazing online world of user generated content. This is the number 1 reason why PS3 is the most innovative console by the way. LBP 2 surpasses the first in every way. While the first was basically platform games, the new can do tons of various game styles (even Real Time Strategy which if you aren't a nerd, just know that is special). They gave some of the top users of LBP 1 24 hours with the new game to make some stages, never using the system before, and they made some interesting stuff. Its the type of game that is always reinventing itself. Basically its what I LOVE about video games.

If those weren't enough, they ended the show with something I've been waiting forever for. I mean 10 freaken years for. I thought the franchise was dead. TWISTED METAL! SO STOKED! Finally! I've been missing car-combat games since that franchise went away. I'm so happy for it to return, in the online era.

My score for Sony. 4.5 out 5. I only would have wished for a brand new franchise or maybe some details on Last Guardian. But everything they put out, delivered. Hardware that worked (at a great price) and a awesome software line-up to back it up.

Prince of Persia: MOVIE MOO!

2010-06-16T02:55:00.000-07:00

Red Dead Redemption review

2010-05-19T15:16:00.000-07:00

So I haven't seen any new films this weekend, which hurts the whole movie review thing a little bit. But I did spent a good amount of yesterday playing Red Dead Redemption. I played it for PS3 (I also own a 360 console) but I assume much of what I say here can be attributed to 360.

I won't do too much plot, cause its hard to critique until I'm finished it. Having said that its a basic revenge tale thus far, and in typical GTA fashion you help NPCs with unrelated quests and they advance your quest some how. The only problem I have with this here, is John Marsden (you) is a little too happy to help with every little BS side quest they happen to have. After just playing another 30 hours of Fallout 3 this month, I was looking for the option to intimidate them into helping me rather than run across the desert helping them shill BS cure all elixirs.

My second problem is this. John Marsden is too nice. I mean he isn't all sunshine and puppy dogs, but at the same time he is a very moral man just trying to go straight. And for a role player like me, it makes shooting random people like this were GTA a little difficult to do. Having said that, he is the most likable of the Rockstar protagonists, mainly because of his surprising moral nature and nice guy (for a R* game) personality.

Onto gameplay its very solid. Lots to do outside the missions, poker, optional missions, herd cattle, hunting. Plenty do to. The missions have yet to feel that repetitive, although I see the potential for it too later on. The graphics are stunning, probably the best for a open world game.

I've only briefly tried the online, I went on almost immediately after the western release, and few people were on yet. The free roam mode might suffer from over hype, its basically the game world with 'some' of the in game stuff to do. Don't think you'll be playing the main game here with a little PVP thrown in. Some options are taken out (I really hope multiplayer poker is added at some point, I didn't see it there).

I had a few bugs which were really annoying. If you lose connection with a player during a match (and this could have been my wifi, not blaming the game for dropped connections... yet) it sends you back to free roam. But it prompts you first, the only problem is I'm holding X to running, and this screen comes up and I've already pressed X and for the first 3 times never knew what happened cause I couldn't read it.

The second bug so far, is a game restarting crash when I tried to customize my character. I couldn't press any buttons, and my character was still animated, I could also access the PS3 menu, so it wasn't a system crash but a game bug.

The single player game however has been bug free, and as usual, I expect a multiplayer patch soon.

I'll try to get some more into the multiplayer later this week and do a follow up.

For now my score for the single player is 4.5 out of 5. I don't regret buying it.

I'll give my score for multiplayer later. What did work was fun I should note, and if I have a more bug free experience I expect a 4 at least.

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2010-05-17T10:37:00.000-07:00

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Kick Ass review

2010-05-15T23:53:00.000-07:00

I guess this movie wasn't the kinda sure thing I thought it was. I was fired up for this movie pretty quick, but nobody else was. I guess my comic book nerdiness is to blame there. I really wish this one did better, because so far, this is my number one film of 2010 (as of May).

I would hope that would sell some people, but I'm not quite Ebert... yet.

After asking around it seems some people just don't get it. Even with the title, some people thought it would nearly as ass kicking as it actually is. I guess not everybody see the redband trailers (those being the internet only trailers, where instead of the green screen that says 'this trailer has been approved for all audiences' you get a red screen that says 'this trailer plays by its own rules' - I'm paraphrasing a bit).

Kick Ass is about a teenage kid, Dave, who is a bit of comic book nerd. He's a bit of loser, gets pushed around a lot, is invisible to women (until a rumor spreads that he is gay, which still doesn't help), and just isn't even very special in his group of equally nerdy friends. One day he wonders, why hasn't anyone at least tried to be a superhero. Even without powers, just kicking ass in a suit? So he tries it out, and gets his ass kicked really really badly. The end.

Until, he tries again, and gets his ass kicked, but does so very heroically, gets recorded and put on youtube. As a result his alter ego is the talk of the town, and he pisses off the wrong people. I won't say much more about the plot, but while it isn't the most original, it definitely gives you characters you care about, and puts them in situations where anything can happen.

Two of those characters, besides Dave/Kick-Ass, is Big Daddy and Hit Girl, the father daughter vigilante team. I've seen some violent stuff on screen before, and while I can probably say I've seen more violent, I can't say its much more violent, and I can't say I've seen a 12 year old girl doing it. This girl kicks ass, not just in action but she is a great actress. Kinda funny how the most bad ass character in this film, is her. Nick Cage plays her dad, a guy with a grudge against the mob, and its easily Cage's best performances since, I guess ever. Yeah I'll say it, this is Nicolas Cage at his best. When he is in the suit, he does this awesome Batman style voice change... except it isn't growly Christian Bale Batman, its hilarious Adam West style Batman. You'll miss a couple lines of dialogue after he speaks cause you'll be laughing over it.

The only reason I can't recommend this movie, is if you think children killing people, and swearing like sailors, and other acts of hard R rated stuff is unwatchable. Having said that, if you can stomach it (and it has a playful mood about it, not a dark twisted one, think Kill Bill) then I think you'll love this movie.

Five Stars out of Five

I'm buying this the day it comes out. On Blu Ray.

Iron Man 2 review.

2010-05-14T17:06:00.000-07:00

This is the one I have been excited for since last summer. I'm a total nerd, and this review is probably gonna show it. So keep that in mind when you read this, I like this on a much different level than most people. This has gotten me flack in the past, for example Daredevil, which I'll admit now, isn't very good (but I stand by that the directors cut fixes some of it). But I was always a Marvel nerd, I'm pretty much a nerd about a lot of things, but the one thing I have a lot of nerd knowledge for, its Marvel comics. So I get a little something more out of most of these films, even Daredevil.

You've probably already seen this film by now, so I'm gonna try to skip that boring first paragraph where I give you the synopsis and just tell you what I liked and why.

I loved the direction they went with Tony Stark in this film. From revealing his identity at the end of the first film, opened the door to a lot of interesting drama. Tony Stark has always been one of the superheros that never needed the duality of a superhero. He was basically the same as both characters, and the people had that were close enough to get hurt, he could easily protect their day to day lives with whatever Stark tech he could dream up. He wasn't like Spider-man, where if a villain found out his identity, the first thing they tend to do is throw his girlfriend/aunt/best friend off a roof/bridge/plane. So this allowed the film so freedom we haven't seen much in films, and also kept it from getting into the dual life drama we've seen way too much in Batman, Spider-man and Superman.

The story with the Government trying to take the Iron Man suit away from Tony was also pretty awesome. First you had Gerry Shandling playing a hilarious douchebag senator. But also the film had a very pro second amendment stance to it, the government wants to take away his guns, and Tony tells them to shove it. Considering my politics more often than not come down on the right, I really liked this. Not to say its hugely political movie, but its nice to see right wing politics from time to time, especially from our super heroes.

Don Cheadle takes over for Terrance Howard as James Rhodes, Tony's best friend and not exactly sidekick more like occasional partner War Machine. I prefer Cheadle in this role, he brought much more emotion to the role, and when he actually stood up to Tony, I believed he was pissed. Furthermore the movie wants you sympathize for both, even when they are antagonistic to each other. Both Cheadle and Downey sell this perfectly, as you have reasons to understand Tony's breakdown, and you can totally understand from Rhodey's point of view why he thinks Tony is wrong.

Gwyneth Paltrow continues to do a solid job as Pepper Potts (Pepper is her nickname, I know it sounds like a strippers name). One of the reasons I like her so much in these films, is because for once the female lead isn't just a damsel in distress. Sure she gets saved, but she also helps Tony as much if not more than he helps her. Its nice to see female leads with more to do than just look pretty. Having said that, I'm not totally sold on a Tony/Pepper relationship, mainly because Tony is way to much of a ladies man and give him a Mary Jane/Lois Lane kinda girlfriend would kinda bug me. Although who knows, its not like its super serious at the end of this.

Scarlet Johannson was actually awesome in this film. While she could have been given more to do, what she had to do was very well done. I was the most apprehensive about her role in this. Having a tough female action role is something few actresses can sell me on, but I totally bought her as the Black Widow by the end of it. Also fellow nerds, get over the accent bit, #1: she is a spy, if she spoke in a Russian accent her cover is blown, #2: they inform you that she is fluent in Russian, #3: They eventually reveal her name to be Natalia Romanoff, not Natalie Rushman as she is first introduced. They remain true to the character, so don't worry.

Now for the stuff I didn't like, the second act was really wordy. It could have benefited from another action scene, but having said that, the action scenes this movie does contain flow organically from the plot. Another action scene would have ended up being Tony drunkenly flying around stopping minor crimes. What we get instead is plenty of character development, so I'm not gonna complain to much. Some people might call it boring, but again most of this stuff is like nerd porn to me.

In fact a significant portion of this film is actually used to promote other films. Most of the S.H.I.E.L.D stuff is basically set ups for Captain America, The Avengers, and mainly Thor. Which if you aren't a nerd you might not know this, this movie is doing a lot more than just the standard trilogy of films and that's it. Next year Thor and Captain America are going to come out. They both tie into this film, and the year after all three characters, Iron Man, Thor and Captain America will star in the Avengers. Basically any Marvel movie made by Marvel studios, exists in the same universe as each other. Now some other studios own the rights to other films, Fox has X-men, Sony has Spider-man for example. So those don't count... yet.

So they didn't just make a trilogy here, they made a film universe. This is what nerds have been dreaming about for years.

Also stay after the credits for a very special set up for one of those films. If you don't get it, you might not care. If your a nerd (that somehow hasn't seen Iron Man 2 yet) you'll think its pretty cool.

I think to be fair I am going to have to give this two different ratings. On for the marvel nerds and one for what I think the regular people would think about it.

Marvel Nerd score: 4.5 out of 5.

Regular people score: 4 our 5.

Either way, pay full price to see it in theaters.

Clash of the Titans. Review

2010-04-03T01:09:00.000-07:00

I'll be honest, I kept my expectations for this one rather low. That isn't to say I went in wanting to hate it, just that I felt a nagging sense of too much hype and if I kept my expectations low, I'll come out happy. Even if the story sucked (which I had no doubt it would) even if the performances were average at best (which aside from Liam Neeson I wasn't expecting much), so long as the action was frequent, even mindless, and awesome, I would be happy.

It didn't even come close to jumping over the very low bar I set for it.

In the world of the film, the gods created Man because they stayed immortal as long as they were worshiped. Then something about Hades making the Kraken to kill the Titans. So before the movie even begins, the Titans clashed and lost. There aren't any Titans in this movie. I mean if they never mentioned the Titans as something separate from the gods, that wouldn't be a problem, we would just think Titan is another word for god I guess. But they mention the Titans as something that opposed the gods, and speak of that only in backstory. So essentially the title is moot.

So whatever, they made a Kraken to deal with them. Cut to Perseus being found in the ocean by a fisherman, who adopts him. We learn later that Perseus is the bastard son of the woman Zeus raped, making him a demigod. Before we learn this, Perseus grows up and witness his family killed. The men of Argos have decided they have had enough of the gods and then Hades appears to kill a bunch of them including Perseus's family who were merely in the crossfire. So the people of Argos and Perseus vow revenge, while Hades somehow convinces his brother Zeus into releasing the Kraken in a couple days to destroy Argos. His logic is this will make them pray to the gods again ,their power comes from worship, except for Hades who's power comes from fear.

This is my first big problem. Hades just shows up, no idea how he escaped the underworld. Second he is much less powerful apparently. Third, Zeus never thinks for a second that unleashing the Kraken is just a ploy for Hades to get his power back.

Which is my next giant problem with film, the characters motivation. I don't understand the people being like 'we hate the gods now' cause aside from 1 empty fishing net the film gives us no reason to believe they have been screwed over. When Zeus says 'stupid children I gave you life' I agree with them, they have nothing to complain about. Argos is actually a nice place, in a ancient civilization kind of way.

Then there is Zeus who is treated like the villain for the first act, but soon after starts giving Perseus a magic sword,flying horse and other things to help him along the quest to stop... himself? Who's team is he playing on? I honestly can not understand what Zeus wants. Its the most schizophrenic character motivation I have ever seen. Perseus is on a quest to stop the Kraken, Zeus is helping him on his quest, but Zeus is the one who unleashes the Kraken. Just don't unleash the damn Kraken!

Sam Worthington follows his trend of completely forgettable characters. I had hoped giving him a role where he didn't have to force an American accent would allow him to be a little less bland, but no such luck. This is probably his blandest performance yet. His motivation actually makes sense, but at no point do I ever really care.

The supporting characters are equally as bland.

Io (the love interest) is just the exposition machine. She barely has a character. She is just there, and pretty. She says a couple things like 'you have do this, or go here, or here is a little history lesson', she does nothing a narrator couldn't do, besides make out with Perseus.

Ralph Fiennes as Hades looks and sounds really bored. At no point did I feel dread or really anything for this character. Which is a shame because he is a good actor, but he is really cashing a paycheck here.

The special effects were average, except Medusa which was awful. She looks like a video game cut scene. Why they didn't just animate her body but given her a human actress for the head, I don't know. Hollywood needs to learn, that when you animate a character that has a human face, it looks bad no matter how good you are, that because you often have a real human face interacting with it, and you can tell what is fake.

The Kraken looked good, but it really didn't last long at all. Seriously, about as much as you saw on the trailer, you see in the movie. The ending is very anticlimactic.

All this would mean nothing if the movie was at least fun. It really isn't. I can't point to a single thrilling action scene, or anything even cool.

Ultimately it was extremely forgettable.

Stars out of five:

** two stars: Don't pay to see it.

Not that I am advocating piracy, I just mean wait til its free on TV or a friend rents it or something.